Finally, you can buy Richard Garriott’s blood [Updated]

Yes, that plaque actually says “Blood of Lord British.”

With so many important news stories fighting for our attention these days, it can be hard to get people to care about a simple gaming crowdfunding effort. But sometimes a crowdfunding publicity stunt breaks through the noise and turns into something you have to gawk at.

Richard Garriott selling vials of his blood for thousands of dollars is one of those stunts.

Yes, Lord British himself, the 55-year-old creator of the Ultima series and noted space tourist, is auctioning off samples of his actual blood to raise money for his new fantasy RPG, Shroud of the Avatar. The six reliquaries—which we’ll note again are full of Richard Garriott’s actual blood—are being marketed as limited-run art pieces, “made of bakelite, copper, nails, glass, and mirrored glass that can be hung on your wall.”

Lest you think Garriott and company are just joking around and marketing colored cornstarch as real blood, the team at developer Portalarium took the trouble to livestream Garriott’s bloodletting on YouTube last night (Jump to 19:00 or so). The footage is worth a gander just to see the registered nurse trying to act like publicity stunts are a normal part of her job.

Bidding for the vials starts at $5,000. As of this writing, the auction has attracted only a single bid after being up for a few hours, even though each vial includes a boatload of digital Shroud of the Avatar items and a chance to visit Portalarium’s offices in Austin, Texas, (travel costs not included).

Frankly, we’re not sure why Garriott added those extras. A chance to own the vital fluids of a legendary game designer doesn’t come along every day, people. If you don’t take advantage of this rare opportunity, you’ll probably just waste those thousands of dollars on trivialities like food and shelter, anyway. Don’t let life pass you by! Bid today!

Update: Over the weekend, eBay removed the Garriott blood auction from its listings, quite possibly because it’s a violation of eBay’s policy against selling human remains and body parts. The listings have been moved to Shroud of the Avatar‘s own Make a Difference store, where two reliquaries have already sold for $6,000 and $8,000 each, and another is still available for $11,000.