What I learned about cars watching all 8 Fast & Furious movies in 4 days

The long-running franchise is a bottomless fount of vehicular wisdom.

Read the whole story

 

[dio82]

Compare and contrast the vehicular bro-sanity of The Blues Brothers & Blues Brothers 2000 with Fast & Furious Franchise. IMO, BBs have much better music. And did the F&F guys airdrop a Pinto from 10,000 feet? No, they did not. Those sissies used parachutes.

The end car chase in The Blues Brothers is the greatest car chase ever filmed and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Agree. No other movie with a car chase has the Blues Brothers' soundtrack, which is part of the greatness of that chase. (Honorable mention goes to the semi-truck crashing spree in the beginning of Beverley Hills Cop with Patti LaBelle blasting out Neutron Dance).

While I'd rather avoid the contentious topic of which movie has the best car chase if you like car chases with soundtrack I recommend Baby Driver.

The first half of that movie is pure cineatic bliss. A perfect amalgation of movie, character and sound.

 

[Ben G]

What many fail to appreciate is the Fast & Furious movies are actually superhero movies and the characters superpowers are CARS. Once you realise that, the movies make perfect sense

So much This.


I know they're somehow going to end up in outer space and I'm just waiting for how they justify that.

From the previews, it looks like this 2 year old post is quite prescient.

 

[Mustachioed Copy Cat]

Anyone told Pete his body shut down to protect itself at Fast and Furious 5 and it’s actually 2026? No one has told him about the ape overlords?

 

[Zionyx]

Everyone thinks that F&F is about cars. These people are well-meaning but misguided.

The Fast and the Furious films are about family. Dom, Letty, Mia, Brian, Roman, Han, Tej, and so on. The supporting actors are the cars.

This is where the films rose and fell. The better the story of the family, the more the films shone, the more the cars were an essential symbiont. Hobbs & Shaw? Less so.

The prayer scene at the end of Fast & Furious 6 gets this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB71PP20P-c

 

[Lorcan Ibsen]

For a man of my age, the car chase in the original Pink Panther wins, precisely because of Henry Mancini's amazing score. Basically a French bedroom farce with sports cars.

(Thanks for the superb start to my morning!)

https://youtu.be/rss-G_0oqok

 

[Penforhire]

I'd toss out the Seven-Ups as in the same league as Bullitt and Ronin. Blues Brothers? That take is too hot.

 

[Fenixgoon]

Edit: nvm

 

[Dzov]

Edit: nvm

Article is from a couple years ago.
edit: nvm

 

[yd]

I have not seen any of them and don't think I am missing anything - molo!

 

[TheFu]

What I learned from these (and other) movies:
* Pretty boys
* Pretty cars
* Pretty girls
make a movie franchise. In short, eye candy sells.

I have much more fun racing go-karts at the track than I've ever had in a real car. Get some friends together and have a lunch party on a nice spring day at the track. It REALLY breaks up the day.
Protip: don't wear a white dress shirt and expect rubber particles on your face, arms, hair, and clothes.
Protip: the go-karts don't need to be fancy "formula 1" looking. Use the ones with steal "rub guards" all the way around. Rubbing is racing, right?

 

[brionl]

What I learned from these (and other) movies:
* Pretty boys
* Pretty cars
* Pretty girls
make a movie franchise. In short, eye candy sells.

I have much more fun racing go-karts at the track than I've ever had in a real car. Get some friends together and have a lunch party on a nice spring day at the track. It REALLY breaks up the day.
Protip: don't wear a white dress shirt and expect rubber particles on your face, arms, hair, and clothes.
Protip: the go-karts don't need to be fancy "formula 1" looking. Use the ones with steal "rub guards" all the way around. Rubbing is racing, right?

My girlfriend and I went to the "family fun center" a couple of weeks ago (we're both vaccinated) and went cart racing. She doesn't have a driver's license, and was even getting lapped by the 10 year olds. But she still had a good time and wants to go again sometime.

I'm just looking for a better implementation of Slaughter Race than Grand Theft Auto V. I'd like more hooning around, and less drug cartel in my "racing" game.

 

[Dzov]

I have not seen any of them and don't think I am missing anything - molo!

"I have never eaten steak and I'm not missing anything!"
"I have never gone sailing and I'm not missing anything!"
"I have never been in a supportive relationship and I'm not missing anything!"
"I have never gone to school and I'm not missing anything!"

 

[Mazzicc]

I finally got around to seeing the last movie in anticipation of the coming one, and loved it as much as any of them.

I avoided these movies for years because I'm not a "car guy", but then my sister said "they're mission impossible in cars" and I decided to check them out.

I regret nothing, and re-reading this article was a lot of fun remembering how silly they all are.

 

[Dzov]

What I learned from these (and other) movies:
* Pretty boys
* Pretty cars
* Pretty girls
make a movie franchise. In short, eye candy sells.

I have much more fun racing go-karts at the track than I've ever had in a real car. Get some friends together and have a lunch party on a nice spring day at the track. It REALLY breaks up the day.
Protip: don't wear a white dress shirt and expect rubber particles on your face, arms, hair, and clothes.
Protip: the go-karts don't need to be fancy "formula 1" looking. Use the ones with steal "rub guards" all the way around. Rubbing is racing, right?

What I learned last time I go-karted is make sure you're the lightest person amongst your friends. It makes a huge difference in cornering speeds and acceleration on those small vehicles.

 

[cmacd]

What many fail to appreciate is the Fast & Furious movies are actually superhero movies and the characters superpowers are CARS. Once you realise that, the movies make perfect sense

Only after 5. 5 is, arguably, where the current "franchise" takes form.

The first movie was literally a remake of Point Break. Nothing more, nothing less. Replace surfboards and skydiving with cars, the plot is like 99% the same. The next three flailed around until the fourth one made $texas just by bringing back the original cast, and they realized this could be a thing.

Then 5 was when everybody got superpowers, the whole "this movie's villian is next movie's addition to the team" thing started (also very much a comic book thing), and it turned into "Marvel with cars." And I'm here for it.

 

[cmacd]

Also, can I just complain for a second that I didn't hear about Fast Fridays until today and it's entirely sold out for tonight?

And really, not even giving me a chance to pay during the rest of the week? I 100% would!

 

[neeksgeek]

Saw the first one when it came out, and it’s honestly one of my favorite bad movies.

As for 2 Fast 2 Furious … this sentence from the article, which made me laugh out loud, summarizes it nicely:

“The plotting in 2 Fast isn't as tight”

Yep. It’s not! I’ve never bothered with the rest.

 

[raxadian]

Honesty instead of this cheap off brand copy you should have watched Speed Racer instead.

 

[ChrisSD]

Honesty instead of this cheap off brand copy you should have watched Speed Racer instead.

The F&F franchise is a lot of things but "cheap" isn't one of them. At least not since 4.

 

[Bamk]

I like the tuna here

 

[Fred Duck]

As of last week, I had never seen any movies in the Fast & Furious franchise. I probably missed the first one in 2001 because I was planning my wedding or something else equally pedestrian. Then, before I knew it, there were seven more, and I had no chance of catching up.

Apart from some numerical and matrimonial differences, this pretty much mirrors myself and the hit series of Star Wars films, although I still haven't seen any of those because I've been busy.

Today, I discovered wait, this is a rerun. Today I re-discovered that Patrick Swayze is from Houston.

Also...Today, I discovered that Patrick Swayze died recently.

I had to DuckDuckGo "Supra Mk.IV JZA80" to see if that is actually the actual name of an actual vehicle and it apparently is. I fervently hope that the JZA80 bit at the end is just filler and there aren't JZA81 or ATT42 models wandering around out there.

I am intrigued about the mention of snacks.

And Ludacris has gone from being a neighborhood mechanic to a world-class hacker.

Excuse my pun but that sounds preposterous.

(BTW, can you picture anyone calling him "Vin" or "Mr. Diesel"? I imagine he's always "Vin Diesel" to everyone all the time, the way no one ever said "John" or "Mr. Wayne.")

Well, they're stage names, akin to "Mark Sinclair" or "Orville Redenbacher." Similarly, no one ever referred to Elvis as "Mr. King."

Also, JW's real name was Marion Morrison because he was originally named by Stan Lee.

Did anyone else notice that the Replica of 1963 Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport has the number 42 emblazoned on it? Coincidence? I think not.

To the surprise of absolutely no one who has ever seen a movie or turned on a television, Michelle Rodriguez didn't really die in Fast & Furious. Turns out she just had amnesia.

You know what I've noticed? Most of the time, people on this site reserve usage of SPOILER tags for when they're discussing those metal wingdings on the boots of autos. That's not what they're for!

As noted earlier, I've never seen Star Wars Episode 4: A Nude Hope, yet I still know all about the major plot twist where Han Solo reveals to Luke Skywalker that he went to junior high with Jar Jar Binks' cousin.

It's a dark descent for those who didn't want to accidentally find out. Commenters, please SPOILER tag responsibly.

Maybe I was too busy imagining the whole yell-to-drive-faster thing working out for my next drive to HEB.

Hello fellow readers. In case you, like me, were wondering what HEB is, it turns out to be a Canadian Healthcare Workers dealio.

https://hebmanitoba.ca/

Thank you, Canadian First Responders.

Also, Second Responders. You are not forgotten, whoever you are.

I went Googling for more info on the cars of Fast & Furious 6, and I ended up at Maxim.

Coincidentally, that's the exact excuse I use when people catch me reading the hit magazine/web site Maxim.

Either a 1997 or a 2000 Mazda RX-7 Type RS FD. The Internet offers differing opinions, and the Internet knows all.

Did you know there's some question as to what Marion Morrison's middle name was? Sadly, since both he and Stan Lee died recently, we may never know.

I am from Houston.

A short while ago, I read that "SoHo" stands for "South and Houston" or "South of Houston" or "South Houston." I'm not going anywhere with this; I just found it an interesting piece of trivia and was a bit discombobulated that people are not entirely sure what it means.

Lykan HyperSport. This particular vehicle belongs to the Abu Dhabi Police.

So, this means Abu Dhabi is not some place Garfield made up. Hmm.

The only ride that matters in Furious 7 is the $3.4 million Lykan HyperSport.

The bobbies drive around in $3.4 million cruisers? Aren't they afraid someone will steal them?

I notice that there was never a mention in any of the synopses that at some point a car in a race was unable to drive forward for whatever reason BUT the hero(es) put the car in reverse and won. I'm glad we're moving past that.

What I learned last time I go-karted is make sure you're the lightest person amongst your friends. It makes a huge difference in cornering speeds and acceleration on those small vehicles.

Pro tip: heavy drivers aren't good at acceleration or off-roading but have higher top speeds.

 

[Jordan83]

I like the tuna here

Bullshit asshole, nobody likes the tuna here!

 

[fenris_uy]

Hobbs & Shaw would be Car vs Helicopter or Car vs Cyborg?

 

[Danathar]

We need MORE.

Please watch ALL OF THE PLANET OF THE APES FILMS (CLASSIC AND NEW) IN A ROW.

I'll read that for a dollar.

 

[chabig]

What I learned:

You can jump or fall from any height without injury as long as you land on your back on the roof of a car.

 

[Ptahhotep]

Watched the lot in a few days too recently and enjoyed it in spades. <--
Sure it's mostly a load of bollocks but that's not uncommon for movies.

I like some of them more than others but these things can change over time. I'll repeat in a few years.

In TV/movie series one can often glimpse a bit of actors' real personalities and during F8 I figured *** is a dick.

Surprised me a bit. Oh well. Happens.

 

[erick2red]

Just came here to tell this is a great article and had me laughing all the way from the top to the final update.

Good job!

 

[sofutoheddo]

It's a 2003 Fairlady Z, because they didn't exist in 2002. 2003 was the first year out.

 

[Jozsi]

This is wonderful writing, Peter!

 

[timeodanaos]

The perfect excuse for binge viewing.

 

[SubWoofer2]

When overseas in New Zealand visiting family F8 was a family bonding moment and my introduction to the franchise. To tell a story against myself, I plainly missed the point of F&F and got an entirely different read on its values. My son told me that someone involved with the series had died in a car crash. We had just come out of watching F8. I asked if there was film footage of the crash and whether it was commercially released in any of the franchise's films for the price of entry fee and popcorn.

He told me that to do so would be wrong, but within the F&F paradigm it struck me as being simply an opportunity missed. It continued a conversation from earlier in the day, we had been talking about him watching the livestream of the Christchurch massacre which was pushed to him by Facebook. "I have Facebook set to 'Christchurch events' while I work and it was on all six feeds".

We agreed that he would stick to his media choices and me to mine. Examples being F&F (him) and J.G. Ballard's Crash (me). Different reads.

 

[kaleberg]

I’m a petrol/gear head. I grew up playing in my dad’s illegal repair shop (illegal under Communist rule), playing hide and seek behind cars on a rocker and sanding body panels.

But for the love of god I couldn’t force myself to watch more a single ‘episode’ in its entirety. Not even in several small doses.

Cartoon physics best epitomized by the viciously ridiculous circle of downshift, press a button, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Plots would make Black Square on White Canvas painting look as full of intricate colorful details.

The franchise is so bad, in my opinion, that it even Death Race 3000 is a better movie.

Yes, I know it’s movies and not a documentary. But for Pete’s sake....

There's always that one guy who doesn't get the punchline to the joke and tries to have a serious discussion about the topic material. I'm just glad it ain't me this time.

Germans?

Not Germans. They made Go Trabi, Go.

 

[LimeJuice]

And now we come to 2 Fast 2 Furious, the most ridiculous (and therefore best) title for a sequel.

The best sequel title ever didn't get made, unfortunately. In fact I don't even know if this story is true, but I really really hope it is:

Apparently the sequel to 'Dude, Where's My Car' was going to be called 'Seriously Dude, Where's My Car'.

 

[brionl]

And now we come to 2 Fast 2 Furious, the most ridiculous (and therefore best) title for a sequel.

The best sequel title ever didn't get made, unfortunately. In fact I don't even know if this story is true, but I really really hope it is:

Apparently the sequel to 'Dude, Where's My Car' was going to be called 'Seriously Dude, Where's My Car'.

Sweet!

 

[kat_travel]

lean mean killing machines

 

[legios2000]

I spent years mocking these movies... Especially to one of my junior officers.

I finally sat down and watched them with my boys. After FF6, I called that junior officer, who I hadn't talked to in 3 years, and apologized.

My boys and I can't wait for F9. We may have seen the trailer 50 times already.

 

[Stuart Frasier]

What I learned from these (and other) movies:
* Pretty boys
* Pretty cars
* Pretty girls
make a movie franchise. In short, eye candy sells.

I have much more fun racing go-karts at the track than I've ever had in a real car. Get some friends together and have a lunch party on a nice spring day at the track. It REALLY breaks up the day.
Protip: don't wear a white dress shirt and expect rubber particles on your face, arms, hair, and clothes.
Protip: the go-karts don't need to be fancy "formula 1" looking. Use the ones with steal "rub guards" all the way around. Rubbing is racing, right?

What I learned last time I go-karted is make sure you're the lightest person amongst your friends. It makes a huge difference in cornering speeds and acceleration on those small vehicles.

At most arrive-and-drive karting places, the kart to kart differences overwhelm any other variable.

 

[Pariah]

I’m a petrol/gear head. I grew up playing in my dad’s illegal repair shop (illegal under Communist rule), playing hide and seek behind cars on a rocker and sanding body panels.

But for the love of god I couldn’t force myself to watch more a single ‘episode’ in its entirety. Not even in several small doses.

Cartoon physics best epitomized by the viciously ridiculous circle of downshift, press a button, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Plots would make Black Square on White Canvas painting look as full of intricate colorful details.

The franchise is so bad, in my opinion, that it even Death Race 3000 is a better movie.

Yes, I know it’s movies and not a documentary. But for Pete’s sake....

I know, right?

I love stupid action movies. They are oddly restful to me. But the F&F series is just unwatchable to me. It's not just all the ridiculous car high jinks. The never ending, maudlin "we're all family" stuff is just so cloying and saccharine. It's like one race and everyone involved is somehow blood bound for life in some sort of weird love cult.

 

[Uxorious]

FF11: Mad Max Fury Road and Drift

 

[Lostfanboi]

We need MORE.

Please watch ALL OF THE PLANET OF THE APES FILMS (CLASSIC AND NEW) IN A ROW.

I'll read that for a dollar.

Heck yeah! Since Ars is a "Brave Verified Creator," I will even toss a couple BATs their way if they bless us with a Planet of the Apes ultra-marathon review.