Misguided HP customer support approach included forced 15-minute call wait times

ColdWetDog

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Anyone who's gotten the "higher than expected call volume" message in off hours and then been connected to someone suspiciously quickly knows in their bones that this is not new. I noticed this becoming more common during COVID.
I still get the message blaming COVID for the delay.....
 
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Rrr7

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MBA's ruin everything. I can pretty much guarantee that some MBA analyzed costs and decided to make more money by ruining the customer service experience because they only cared about the money, not the customers.

Fuck HP for lots of reasons. This is just one more. The fact that they fixed this does not matter. The fact that they were willing to do thus until they were caught tells me exactly what kind of company they are.
Even by 'MBA logic' standards, this "yay! we're ranked #1 in support, what can we do to tank that asap?" seems idiotic
 
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Even by 'MBA logic' standards, this "yay! we're ranked #1 in support, what can we do to tank that asap?" seems idiotic
In MBA-logic, there is no, "Yay! We're #1." Instead the logic is, "There must be money to be made by not being #1. In fact, Boo! We're #1.Money's being left on the table and we can't have that."
 
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catman09

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What seems weird about this is that, at least in my experience, talking to support is the absolute last resort, there's no way you'd hassle with phone support if you can fix the problem yourself.

Is HP just deluded about the quality of their self-help options; or are there people out there who reach for the phone as a first step?
The way I picture it is that tech support lines aren't made for people who know to try everything else first. Even with that being said, I don't think the people who do end up calling support look forward to it - they're willing to try anything to get their stuff to work. Which is why I personally think that those self-help options are mostly there as a distraction - some people will take the time to go through those steps to get everything working. Most of the time, it will not work. In the meantime, that frees up the phone lines a bit so they're not completely inundated - not that they care, apparently.

I think the bigger problem is that many times, the problem is something unique to a piece of equipment's environment - conflicting drivers, specific KB updates that silently brick installations - stuff that owner's manuals will not cover. A phone call might help with this, but it's going to be limited to both parties' understanding and willingness to try. Try talking an angry senior citizen through the process of installing KB-4079000 directly from the Microsoft KB Catalog.
 
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Fatesrider

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I don't know why they didn't just do the thing every other company is doing, and just fire enough call staff to naturally have at least 15 minute wait times.

Also "due to unexpected call volume" is the biggest lie ever. If that line comes up every time you call in, that's not unexpected at all.
What that line is really saying is, "Go fuck yourself, we don't care about you at all" because if they are even remotely interested in customer service, they'd have already had all the metrics in place to staff call centers to increase staff for those peak times when their own fucking service history should tell them will happen. It's not at all like these things are unexpected nor can't be planned for.

They just don't give a shit.

I bought an HP printer once, around 30 years ago. Never, ever, again.
 
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motytrah

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Generational discriminatory support services, how can we not help you? Have you tried mashing the 0 button on your cordless phone? No? Well that will take you back to main menu, so you can be forced to listen to your options, again and again. Keep mashing zero button? Well after the nth mashing, you'll be put into our helpful, Thank you for calling, Goodbye! queue, and promptly disconnected!

Can't get on the internet to access our generous and confusing support for whatever model you have? Have you tried Hp.com from your mobile device? (cellular data rates will apply).


If you cannot web search the issue, try a HP forum, or reddit sub, and can't RTFM that you forgot to download latest drivers INSTEAD of installing antiquated CDROM drivers that came in the box (oh why)...and cant' use the HP Support Chat bots or human you might luck out on...then call that 800 number to your hearts content! And on a mobile phone? Better be on a charger or full battery because you ... will...wait...in...queue!
I used to do phone support for Compaq back in the day. The vast majority of calls were people who didn't read the manual. I'd literally pull the manual and read it to them verbatim.

I'd get calls form people pressing paper against the monitor thinking that's how you fax. It's endless just how dumb people are.

The reason I was good at the job was I knew what questions to ask people. Which AI really isn't that good at so far.
 
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ranthog

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seems like they're not the only ones to be honest.

Having said that, I absolutely hate ai or other digital assistants that try to help you.. I already did a bunch of research you stupid monkeys and the information they provide is useless, REALLY useless.. you're just making me hate your product more.

- edit -- this is also a part of the enshitification of the internet
The concept of these are not bad, but they're by and large poorly thought out and largely just someone throwing ChatGPT at something. Realistically they're probably not going to have a lot to add that a good knowledge base search engine can't for expert users (which most people here probably are).

I'm not sure if they're really useful for inexperienced users, who probably should be the target of these assistant. It just feels often like an after thought that had zero effort put into it because some management demanded AI.
 
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ranthog

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Oh wow, I completely forgot! I can't wait to go check out HP's digital support consisting of:
  • An FAQ with softball questions and obvious answers
  • A communities thread where customers are asking the same questions and getting no answer
  • A KB article that seems to match but provides resolution steps in an outdated UI version that was removed in the new UI
  • A barely comprehensible AI chatbot that's just reading the same things I am
Having done some time on the front lines in IT... Those FAQ's probably do solve a lot of problems, because there are plenty of people that it isn't obvious to.

This is of course the same reason why IT call chains often ask you to check to see if your computer is plugged in and the monitor turned on. While it is obvious, it also means numerous problems are solved by this simple step.
 
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marsilies

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God, I hate it when I'm on hold with a company and the godawful hold music gets interrupted every 30 seconds with a prerecorded message saying, "Did you know that we have a website? Did you know that you can do things on our website, you fool? Didn't you realize that you can do literally anything on our website, you absolute nincompoop? What are you doing making us pay customer support people peanuts to answer your phone call when you should be using our website, idiot???"

And meanwhile the only reason I called at all is because I already tried using their website and it informed me that the only possible way to resolve my issue is to make a goddamn phone call. Infuriating.
On the flipside of this is when the companies don't give a support number anywhere, and make you jump through hoops on the online support before you can schedule for them to call you, but you get stuck in a loop because your issue sort-of but not-really fits into some of the online help's categories, so it keeps sending you to the same non-helpful help articles, before you finally figure out the magical incantation of just the right clicks and responses to get the online help throw up its hands and finally let you talk to a human.
 
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meta.x.gdb

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If the online support was better we would be much happier. The online support at all these companies is awful. The AI chatbot trained on your online support material doesn't improve the results at all. If companies want to shift more users to their online support then they need to heavily invest in their online support resources. Create metrics improve, improve, improve, update metrics, etc. Then a side-effect will be decreased call volume and overall savings. It won't happen quickly, which I suspect is the real problem. They need to show results of these changes in one or two quarters. This kind of change will take more than a year to show profits, and that is just way too long for a corporation to wait.
 
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marsilies

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Having done some time on the front lines in IT... Those FAQ's probably do solve a lot of problems, because there are plenty of people that it isn't obvious to.

This is of course the same reason why IT call chains often ask you to check to see if your computer is plugged in and the monitor turned on. While it is obvious, it also means numerous problems are solved by this simple step.
If only there was a way to signal you were smarter than the average caller, and tried all the basic stuff already....

1740157856239.png

https://xkcd.com/806/

That comic is from 2010.
https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/806:_Tech_Support
 
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ranthog

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I used to do phone support for Compaq back in the day. The vast majority of calls were people who didn't read the manual. I'd literally pull the manual and read it to them verbatim.

I'd get calls form people pressing paper against the monitor thinking that's how you fax. It's endless just how dumb people are.

The reason I was good at the job was I knew what questions to ask people. Which AI really isn't that good at so far.
There is no reason why you couldn't set up that type of branching logic into an assistant, other than it would take a lot of work. Realistically building out detailed scripts and diagnosis trees for support is hard, especially because constructing clear and concise instructions on the fly is really hard.

Just dumping your knowledge base into ChatGPT takes little time.
 
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MyBloodyBallantine

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My favorite recent customer service interaction was being told I could leave my number and a quick voice message and the next available rep will get back to me. I select that option and was greeted with a simple "Sorry, we cannot process your request at this time. Goodbye." To the back of the line I went. At least my call was important to them...
 
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H2O Rip

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seems like they're not the only ones to be honest.

Having said that, I absolutely hate ai or other digital assistants that try to help you.. I already did a bunch of research you stupid monkeys and the information they provide is useless, REALLY useless.. you're just making me hate your product more.

- edit -- this is also a part of the enshitification of the internet
The issue is that a lot of people simply...don't, and if 90% of issues can actually be resolved by AI, there is a reason to do so. When done well, I don't even hate it. Sometimes I just need help finding an answer that an AI bot can do fine at. And I think most support reps can attest that said AI monkey could help many or even most callers.

Having said that, for people who have more complex issues (because they have tried to self-solve first), making it near impossible to speak to a human is infuriating. There are lots of times I am calling support because I need them to fix something they fucked up around. And a bot isn't going to do that, in fact all it does is frustrate me because I know I need to talk to an actual rep and it's just adding friction. That is the case here. It's intentionally adding friction, not actually making self-help desirable (and useful!).

The really annoying part is that at no point is the goal here to improve service. Its only to reduce cost of service to the company. If they can funnel off users to self-help - that doesn't make their customer support better. It just means they have less staff helping. I'd love to see how many systems have the "higher than normal call volume" message on more than 50% of the time. My guess? Most. And then it's just a lie.
 
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Honestly I think many companies across industries and sectors are trying to train us that calling them on the phone won't get us what we want

There's just a parade of ways that they seem to deliberately make the experience difficult and miserable that reflect this intent. You don't have to have tinny, annoying hold music interrupted every 7 seconds by a reminder that they have a website. You don't need automated data collection steps that are just repeated with a human anyway. You don't need to say "please listen closely because our menu options have changed" at every submenu

They know how to make a good customer service experience, it's not rocket science. Most businesses have chosen to make it horrible
 
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Jim Salter

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seems like they're not the only ones to be honest.

Having said that, I absolutely hate ai or other digital assistants that try to help you.. I already did a bunch of research you stupid monkeys and the information they provide is useless, REALLY useless.. you're just making me hate your product more.

- edit -- this is also a part of the enshitification of the internet
Yeah, in the 2020s it's not even faintly surprising that a large company--let alone a tech giant--is deliberately ramping up wait times to get customers to just fucking hang up.

It is a little surprising that they fessed up to it, even with the shitty "we were just trying to help" corporate propaganda. I'm guessing something is going to get entered into a court record somewhere, so they know they can't just suppress it?
 
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Jim Salter

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Honestly I think many companies across industries and sectors are trying to train us that calling them on the phone won't get us what we want
Which I would be extremely open to, personally, if they actually gave me the tools to actually resolve my issues. But that's the problem. They don't bother doing that, either.

I recently spent several hours trying to resolve a client issue, where the only admin account for a 365 domain lost access to MFA and therefore could not log in. The MFA failure was on Microsoft's side, just to rub salt in the wound--the client had used Microsoft's own authentication app, which relies on a successful push from the server side. The 365 login was not pushing, so login was not possible.

If you call technical support, the only option you're given--repeatedly--is "open a ticket online." Neither requests for "operator" nor deliberate cursing (which AI agents are sometimes trained to respond to with escalation) were even acknowledged... And opening a ticket requires, guess what? You being able to log into the portal, that you can't log into in the first place, because the MFA isn't working.

During that couple of hours, I navigated ENDLESS Microsoft community threads with angry people having the same problem, endless "me too" comments on them all, and equally endless "call support" recommendations from Microsoft employees and "MVPs", all offering... The exact same number where a robot refuses to do anything but tell you to log into the portal and open a ticket there.

I finally managed to work around it by calling BILLING. If you call Microsoft's accounts receivable department, THAT can be escalated to a human, and that human is not even faintly surprised about it when what you need is actually technical support and nothing to do with billing itself.

The human in the billing department sadly told me that they couldn't actually connect me, "the team works on a callback basis only." It took "the team" two DAYS to temporarily nerf the broken MFA so that my client could log in and set up alternate MFA fallbacks as well as the mandatory Microsoft MFA.
 
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42Kodiak42

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You're a good user, but there's plenty of people who use calling support as their first and only solution path. Having done some customer support, it can be astounding how helpless some customers seem to be. You wonder if they call someone for help tying their shoes every morning.

That said, that's just a cost of doing business with the public. You're going to have to deal with some morons. And you're not going to discourage the ones who don't want to do any web support before calling in by making them wait. All you're going to do is piss them off and make them harder to deal with when a support tech finally gets the call.
Ironically, good users who catch onto this tactic may start to pre-emptively call the support line as soon as they exhaust all options that are quicker than dialing the number.

Fuck, I'd do it even when I know how to fix the problem just to spite them for having the gall to waste my time when I actually need help.
 
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Zeppos

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I feel like telling outright lies to your customers should be punishable in some way?
I have the impression lying is the new modern these days. Just lie. It is completely socially acceptable. All the important people lie their way out these days. Hard work and due diligence? That is not how you get things done in this world. Wake up! Want to make money? Lie your way to the top. Don't be a loser doing actual work. You'll end up as an insignificant middle class employee struggling to pay rent.

I always lie. Always.

(/S)

* Edit* spelling. Lie is a complicated verb in English.
 
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Mechjaz

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I won't say I knew about the 15 minutes in particular, but I thought we all knew this was happening. "Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed" sound familiar? My credit union used that when they started forcing us though through phone trees, and it had that same language despite literally being so new there wasn't even a menu to have changed from.

Every step of it is designed to get you to give up, get off the line, go do something else. They'll call you if they need something.
 
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Jim Salter

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Ironically, good users who catch onto this tactic may start to pre-emptively call the support line as soon as they exhaust all options that are quicker than dialing the number.
I'm getting closer and closer to not bothering calling the tech support line either, and going straight to Billing instead. (See my rant about Microsoft, a few comments back.)
 
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jakecovert

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"In an odd approach to trying to improve customer tech support, HP allegedly implemented mandatory, 15-minute wait times for people calling the vendor for help with their computers and printers in certain geographies."

This is bad journalism: Giving the benefit of the doubt to company that does not deserve it.

It's obvious that they're doing it to reduce live-person expenses. A lot of people don't know this, and will read your "tongue-in-cheek" opening incorrectly.

Call a spade a spade.
 
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Chuckstar

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I love all the whining about crappy service. Anyone who has ever bought something for $5.00 less, while knowing the retailer or manufacturer provides inferior service, has helped contribute to where we are today.

And then the problem becomes how to get enough people to actually pay for better service such that someone will even bother catering to those willing to pay for it.
 
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fkaOld_one

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I finally managed to work around it by calling BILLING. If you call Microsoft's accounts receivable department, THAT can be escalated to a human, and that human is not even faintly surprised about it when what you need is actually technical support and nothing to do with billing itself.
I had a zombie Verizon account that simply wouldn't die, despite repeated assurances over several months from many Verizon support agents that this time the problem would get fixed. What finally did work was simply not paying the monthly bill. I got an email with a number to call, explained the situation, and was forwarded to someone who actually fixed the problem. It’s always the money that actually matters.
 
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MBA's ruin everything. I can pretty much guarantee that some MBA analyzed costs and decided to make more money by ruining the customer service experience because they only cared about the money, not the customers.

Fuck HP for lots of reasons. This is just one more. The fact that they fixed this does not matter. The fact that they were willing to do thus until they were caught tells me exactly what kind of company they are.
They were halfway decent before they bought out Compaq. Now? No thanks.
 
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