Twas an age ago when Graphical User Interfaces were but a pipe dream in the minds of ordinary MicroSerfs. The dungeon in question resided in the land of SuperCalc. It was a dull and sorrowful land rendered in monochromatic green phosphor.
Woe had befallen my Lord for he had to account for the addition of 3 new markets on the gargantuan monstrosity that was the Monthly Turnover report. Many a brave knight had attempted to tame the Beast, but it had been in vain. All challengers failed in their task, they had wildly hacked and slashed at it causing it grow bigger and more angry.
The Monthly Turnover had become a twisted and distended 90 page long Paper Serpent scarred with the marks of brave idiots 'heroes' who foolishly tried to tackle it then fled in terror &/or confusion leaving nary a useful comment in their wake. To make matters worse, many parts of the beast that had been hacked now flailed around uselessly in disconnected cells with no clue as to their purpose.
So my Lord bid me, his young squire, to tame the wretched creature and "Add these three extra markets onto the Monthly Turnover for me.". Twas clear from the outset that my Lord considered it a trivial undertaking that would require but a day. Perhaps he believed in my abilities or possibly he didn't understand the enormity of task I faced.
Boldly I strode through the office and set up camp in the far corner, as far away from my noisy feckless fellow office adventurers as possible. With supplies of Coca-Cola, a pad and pencil, I set about unravelling the mystery laid out across 90 sheets continuous perforated paper. The elephant in the room soon reared its head and realised I was the poor bastard standing behind with neither broom nor bucket. The elephant's gut rumbled ominously, a big job was coming.
With grim determination I hacked through acres of dense cruft. Here and there dotted amongst steaming piles bloat were the glistening jewels of the original writers logic. They could be saved, but I would have to get my hands dirty.
I toiled 5 long days, tidying, rewriting and reducing the once feared freak of hasty revision and careless neglect into a 20 page document with clear summary pages. Helpful comments were hidden in the margins so that any Adventurer following in my footsteps would get to their destination safely.
My reward, a job well done.
Months later my Lord was fired for his incompetence, the cause of all the problems in the first place. As a Squire without a Lord to serve I was soon cast aside with redundancy.
The End
The tales of Sonolumi continue in Fellowship of the part-time Temps.
