Gag/fun/unusual gifts

Coppercloud

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Today's Thursday questions reminded me about some of my best, and worst gifts. I figured there's probably other pranksters in the crowd. So lets share: what are some of your most memorable gifts. It doesn't have to be just pranks if there's something particularly clever, meaningful, or that you poured a lot of hard work into. But if you've got a good gift story, share it here.

Me? I've had a habit of giving at least one gag gift a year to someone in my family. I think it started out with just the idea that my brother wanted ammo for christmas. I'd gotten him a 20 round box, along with some other stuff, and he reloads so I figured I could give him my empty boxes to hold reloaded ammo. So what I did was grab 6 empty boxes and put 2 or 3 rounds in each them tape them shut so it looked like I gave him 6 or 7 boxes of ammo when I'd only given him one. I then wrapped it in a larger box with the other gifts I'd given him so the weight wouldn't throw him off right away. He opened it, gasped a little bit at how much I'd "spent" in my poor college days, and gave me a big thank you. I said "you're welcome" and shut my mouth. It wasn't until about a half hour later that I heard a "GOD DAMNIT COPPERCLOUD!" along with some giggles as he caught on.

From there, it's kind of been a tradition. The next year I went to his house with my in-laws on christmas eve and stole some lights from that same brother out of his front yard and packed them up for him as a gift.

Another year my other brother was going to get back to me on things he wanted but never did, I figured cash is better than a gift card, but has a "lame" factor, so I froze it in a small block of ice. This was before the fancy ice craze, or at least before I knew about it, so I had to look up the best way to make clear ice so that he could see what it was. So the process is to freeze the ice directionally, not from all angles at once, to reduce cracking from expansion and any bubbles. So basically put it in a cooler with the top off in your freezer. It worked well. I packed it in a bag, bubble wrap, and multiple layers of cardboard for insulation and just let him open it normally.

Another year I saw the whole "wrap your gift in zip ties" gag and had to replicate it. I figured what better to give than... something that can open zip ties. So I first wrapped a diagonal cutters in normal wrapping paper, then started zip tying it. I did make sure toe weave the zip ties so that he couldn't just start sliding them off. That one was fun because it got a good laugh when everyone saw the wrapping then when he finally saw it we got more laughs. Bonus, I got him a nice one and he said he did actually need a good diagonal cutters!

Another year I was living an hour away from home, but I was on the road a bit (fixing PCs/Servers/Networking gear). I happened to go through my home town. My dad has a mechanical coo-coo clock that my other brothers like to mess with and adjust the weights and stuff. So I stopped by the house a week or two before christmas and stole the little pine cone weights! He at first suspected my brothers because I'd never messed with it before and only one of us lived in town. So I called them up and had them package up rocks for dad to force him to have to guess which one of us actually did it. Surprisingly he didn't single me out as the habbitual prankster and I'd wrapped them cleverly enough that I was his last pick.

This year? Well mom hasn't gotten in on the fun. One year she made some bacon and then accidentally dumped the grease into my brother's boot instead of a garbage can. It's a big inside joke with us because he was about to go camping in bear country and was like "yeah... I'm not taking the bacon scented boots for that!" So I saved up a bunch of bacon grease into a big mason jar and labeled it "boot seasoning" and wrapped that for her.

Last one, a bonus one. This one wasn't intended to be a prank, though I guess I can't help myself. My wife like advent calendars and thought we might get one for my mom. My mom likes puzzles. So the wife and I put together a 1000 piece puzzle this summer and divided it into 24 envelopes and we gave that to her at the beginning of the month. We did make sure to package them in sections that actually fit together (hence why we had to put it together first), though I did leave enough pieces left over that we can pack some up for Christmas day. The prank part that I couldn't stop myself from? I'll wrap up an empty box for her and then give one piece to all the brothers and grand kids and everyone so when she expects me to be giving her the last set of pieces in said box she'll have/get to wait as everyone walks up and puts their piece in the box and gives her a hug. Yeah.... she's gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. But it's gonna be gooooood.

Anyway. Please, share yours. I think my favorite might be stealing the Christmas lights, I'd forgotten about that one in the Thursday questions thread.
 

crombie

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A simple one at a Christmas gift swap was I ordered a ceramic D from Amazon, and packaged it with $20 worth of premium nuts. People though I just dumped a cheap bag of nuts in a bag, but it had almonds, cashews, walnuts, brazil nuts, pecans, and filberts. I ended up taking it back because no one wanted D's nuts!

The year before I would say was my best. All I brought was a copy of the Passion of the Christ wrapped in a shoebox. Except that year I won a contest for a huge number of gift cards. I decided to splurge and tossed a $50 card for a place that was well regarded, but I had no interest in visiting (I won $1000 in gift cards so it wasn't a huge amount to give away).

That year was also the first time my co-workers took the gift swap way too seriously, and we had like four or five rounds. No one wanted the DVD, and when it was all over it was with someone who was pretty disappointed. Until I told her to open it up, and it ended up being the best gift there! Way better than the mediocre wine and chocolates people had been 'battling' over.
 

Coppercloud

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Oh man, I forgot about one that I think I chronicled in the lounge random thread last year. I'm on a private chat server with some friends, mostly fellow IT dorks (hence someone running their own mattermost server). A guy, who is a notorious troll and has no children, mentioned how he finally caved and got a tree or something. I don't mean "finally got a real tree because we always did fake before" but just never had a tree. He was complaining about how that meant he had to get ornaments. So I organized with the whole chat group behind his back for us all to get him dick ornaments and have them start showing up randomly over the course of December. They all had heartfelt messages about how we wanted to support him and his wife and ease the financial burden of furnishing a tree promote the christmas spirit and blah blah blah here's a dick ornament! There were glass ones, there were 3d printed ones, there were crochet ones, there were black, white and brown ones, there were gingerbread men with large members, there were snowflakes made up of symmetrical phallus patterns.... all together we sent him like 15 different penises to hang on is tree. He proudly hung every one of them up. I think the crocheted one was intended to be the topper.
 

Q

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Pales in comparison to yours, but one year I wrapped up a very normal present for my mom in a shoebox and then poked airholes in the top. Instead of leaving it under the tree I made a big show of running upstairs to get it ready when it was time to give it to her. Her apprehension at opening it was priceless.
 

keltorak

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Years ago, my sister-in-law was an entitled 16 year old who had been dictating everyone what they'd get her for Christmas months ahead of time. She told us we needed to get her a memory card for her phone; I told her she'd get a rock from us. And that exchange kept happening.

I made a custom weirdly shaped box to fit our doorstop rock, and made a false bottom for the memory card to fit into.

She nearly cried and I had to point out that she should keep unwrapping. Sadly, it did nothing for the entitlement, but everyone else sure laughed really, really hard at the promise coming true (and we took our rock back, we needed that doorstop!).

Our kids are not entitled brats, so we don't need to pull this crap with them :) But we have included socks and underwear with gifts. They were due anyway, might as well package it all together!
 
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PhaseShifter

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Me? I've had a habit of giving at least one gag gift a year to someone in my family. I think it started out with just the idea that my brother wanted ammo for christmas. I'd gotten him a 20 round box, along with some other stuff, and he reloads so I figured I could give him my empty boxes to hold reloaded ammo. So what I did was grab 6 empty boxes and put 2 or 3 rounds in each them tape them shut so it looked like I gave him 6 or 7 boxes of ammo when I'd only given him one. I then wrapped it in a larger box with the other gifts I'd given him so the weight wouldn't throw him off right away. He opened it, gasped a little bit at how much I'd "spent" in my poor college days, and gave me a big thank you. I said "you're welcome" and shut my mouth. It wasn't until about a half hour later that I heard a "GOD DAMNIT COPPERCLOUD!" along with some giggles as he caught on.
"Gift card taped to a brick" is a classic.

One year one of my brothers said he needed a hammer, but when I bought it I realized that is was both an irregular shape and very unbalanced. I taped it inside a box so it couldn't move, and also taped some bolts at the end opposite the hammer's head so the box would be well-balanced.
 
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Crackhead Johny

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Okay, I have the worst gifts, as defense in case of a white elephant situation. I have 2 of them. Worse than a 25th anniversary "2 girls 1 cup" collector's mug. ... or a gaotse commemorative kaleidoscope.

I didn't think the Etsy page would make them for me.. but they did.

For casual, my wife and I need to start dating a stupidly hot girl, as we have women we have not been allowed to marry across 20-25+ relationships, dating a stupidly hot 23 year old will require me to look into her, see the issues, then go in to fix them. My pay off will be all the dick picks she has relieved since she was 12 (Fuck you dad!).

Then I take all those pics and put them on prayer candles with an aliexpress press. "this is Dirk, he sounds cool, but he fails to measure up. Upside, he smells like jasmine"

I suffer from untreatable depression and anxiety issues. Rip me off and become a millionaire. Please, before some alispider does.
 

MichaelC

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Stygianwyvern

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An extreeeeemely long time ago, I worked at an Italian restaurant. My Mom would come in with her best friend every Tuesday, solely for the salad bar, before they would go quilting, bridge-playing, whatever mothers do on girls night out. She absolutely LOVED the croutons from the salad bar.

So, around Thanksgiving one year (1979?), I asked the owner to buy an extra case of croutons. Industrial size, the box was about 2 1/2 ft x 1 1/2 ft x 1 ft. About 15 lbs of croutons.

Christmas morning, after opening the presents, we had salad for breakfast. Mom always said it was her favorite Xmas gift ever. Unfortunately, even today, the rest of the family cringe at the sight of croutons. We must have had 45 packs of croutons in the freezer. Nary any room for even one fudgecicle.