Explain it like I’m 5: Why is everyone on speakerphone in public?
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Mentioned to someone on public transit that earphones would be appreciated and received a tirade for my efforts. Definitely needs to be a top down through bottom up discussion of public space and acceptable behaviour. People talking on their cellphones in cinemas is mindboggling, speaker or no.
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Technically, they'd also have situational awareness of who/what is nearby to determine what language may be appropriate. That isn't to say that they'd care, but I'm not sure people on the other end of the call are always aware that they are on speaker in the checkout line.
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Perhaps others have already suggested this but i think there are two main reasons people have been doing this for at least a decade by my recollection:
1. People see it done on reality tv shows wjere it was done so that the mics would pick up both sides of the conversation.
2. We used to get told that radios next to heads cause tumors.
1. People see it done on reality tv shows wjere it was done so that the mics would pick up both sides of the conversation.
2. We used to get told that radios next to heads cause tumors.
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And yet the problem still exists, and keeps getting worse.
So we can either sit around saying self righteous things while accomplishing nothing. Or we can look at how design decisions are influencing people's decisions at large, and try to improve the situation.
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Remember boom boxes booming in public - sidewalk, train, etc... - in the 1980s?
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The premise might not hold based on one's culture/location.
I haven't seen it too much - definitely nothing more than any other aberrant behaviour.
And as everyone is on their phone constantly, you're more likely to watch phone related faux pas than any other sort.
I haven't seen it too much - definitely nothing more than any other aberrant behaviour.
And as everyone is on their phone constantly, you're more likely to watch phone related faux pas than any other sort.
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1) I think people are making way more video calls then ever before. While the norm for us older folks is to use a phone as a phone. The "kids" use the phone for video chats. Which became the norm during COVID. So people got used to holding the phone that way for all conversations video or not.
2) I think its just people are more selfish. People are so self absorbed with little to no self awareness.
2) I think its just people are more selfish. People are so self absorbed with little to no self awareness.
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It is a narcissistic trait at the end of the day, they do things like this because they are the only person on the planet. everyone else is a figment of their imagination....
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At the root of it all, this behavior is due to the fact that there are no longer consequences to being an A-hole. People like that used to be ostracized by society and would eventually get the memo. Now, it's part of a general race to the bottom that seems to descend deeper than I thought possible.
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So said your dad, grandad, great-grandad, and every single generation before yours.
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Remember when the guy with the Bluetooth earpiece, holding a conversation in public, but only hearing his side was the "douchebag"?
So... I'm gonna be vulnerable here. I don't do speakerphone in public... but when I hold my phone to my ear instead of using earbuds*, I might as well be for having the call volume high enough so I understand it.
*regarding failing to use earbuds in public: sometimes I don't have them with me, sometimes I don't feel like fiddling with them and waiting for them to connect for an incoming call from my partner.
So... I'm gonna be vulnerable here. I don't do speakerphone in public... but when I hold my phone to my ear instead of using earbuds*, I might as well be for having the call volume high enough so I understand it.
*regarding failing to use earbuds in public: sometimes I don't have them with me, sometimes I don't feel like fiddling with them and waiting for them to connect for an incoming call from my partner.
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Used to? The current head of DHHS believes 5G weakens the blood-brain barrier and and was the real cause of COVID.
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"Why does everybody think we just don't give a shit when we do the thing that we are well aware inconveniences EVERYONE around us?"
Followed by:
"We don't give a shit what you think about it."
So, we think you don't give a shit about how your behavior impacts those around you because you don't give a shit. Funny how that works.
You're welcome for the downvote. You earned it. ::golfclap::
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As I've seen person after person in the comments bring up COVID as a possible cause for the behavior change, I haven't really bought into the idea that the actual isolation for a couple years made that profound a long lasting behavioral change.
BUT.
Also as person after person drew attention to that possible correlation, I started thinking what if this isn't a result of social changes in relation to isolation, what if it's literally a result of COVID itself? We know that COVID infections have long term impact on the brain, including but not limited to "COVID brain fog." What if we're seeing a new generation's version of the increased aggression and decreased impulse control that we used to get from leaded gasoline in the environment?
I'm not saying "ha! That's the answer, I've found it!" But I am saying "...huh. IS that the answer, maybe...?"
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Just speak up and say: “Excuse me caller, you need to know that the person you are speaking to has you on speaker in a crowded restaurant/train/bus/… which shows no respect for your privacy.” And walk away.
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People get trembling mad when you actually insert yourself into the conversation. Enough so that I personally consider that a pretty nuclear option and I don't do it frequently. Maybe once or twice a year.
But I'm definitely not above it. If you don't want to include me in your conversation, don't include me in your conversation.
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Very often you'll see these numbskulls actually move the phone closer to their ears to listen to it when the other side is speaking, so no, it's not about hearing better. They're truly just stupid and don't understand how phones are supposed to work. Their only example of how to use a phone comes from TV and "social media" where they have people use the phone on speaker so that the entire conversation can plausibly be heard and they simply never considered holding the phone to their ear. That's something for "old people".
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That's always been a thing, though, even without any kind of cell phone. My first, disastrous marriage was 1992-1993. One of the things that drove me absolutely insane was that Jennifer found driving so intolerably boring, she was constantly looking for something else to do. WHILE DRIVING THE CAR.
The traffic light thing was bad enough, but I lost track of the number of times she'd put her head under the dashboard to INTENTLY fuck around with the car stereo WHILE IN ACTUAL MOTION--and would be about to run into something until I started screaming BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE BRAKE from the passenger seat.
We were both very young--I was 20-21, she was 19-20, for our year and change together--so I really hope that's something she grew out of after we split. If not, I shudder to think how many collisions she must have caused by now.
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Yeah, I don't think you thought that one through. The comment you're replying to is currently at -128. Would you have preferred one hundred and twenty eight essentially identical "your post is bullshit!" comments spamming up the thread?
The downvote is the most polite way to express your significant disapproval of a post in a busy thread with a bunch of people in it... which is pretty relevant to the current topic, if you stop and think about it.
And I don't want to hear "well they should just keep it to themselves, then." The downvoters have just as much right to participate in the conversation as the person who posted the thing they disagreed with do.
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Dark Pumpkin
Ars Scholae Palatinae
It depends on the phone. Some have a truly awful ear speaker while having a decent loudspeaker. My previous phone had an under-screen speaker with no hole for sound to be funneled directly into my ear, and instead expected me to capture all the sound from the entire screen vibrating into my ear. Ears aren't big enough to do that. Hearing people on that phone with even a small amount of noise in the surroundings was nearly impossible.
I didn't do it, but using speaker phone would have solved that problem.
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Yeah. Those folks in the grocery store, in line at a fast food place, etc who walk in on the phone, stay on the phone for the entire time they're there, still on the phone when they walk out... Not having any significant conversation. Long LONG pauses between words uttered by either side every once in a while, absolutely nothing of import being said. Essentially just a constant, never ending security blanket of "I'm not alone I'm not alone I'm not alone I'M NOT ALONE."
Basically, recreating the four hour wired landline "conversations" I used to have with my eighth grade not-officially-girlfriend. I remember that cadence!
Those folks are frequently not even using speaker--they're very frequently holding the phone to their face. Probably in part because they know they'll get confronted if they go on speaker, and they're desperate not to lose that security blanket.
Those folks, I feel genuinely sorry for (even though they're still pretty damn annoying, since they can't really focus on whatever they're doing in addition to the audio chaff). But they're very different from the "let me bellow a conversation into a speakerphone" crowd, IMO.
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Oh the peeve!!!!!!
I can't speak to the reasons strangers do this, but my 70ish year old father does this, in both private and public spaces and it is infuriating. For him, it is totally about signaling social dominance (in the same way that the highest status person at a meal eats the sloppiest because following etiquette is for subordinates, which he does, too.) He does work/business through the phone, so the conversation is presumed "important" which means no one else can talk above a whisper while he's on the phone. When I visit my parents, I can express disapproval and he might move to another room, but in the car, there is no other room. My fury buuuurrrrrnnnns.
I can't speak to the reasons strangers do this, but my 70ish year old father does this, in both private and public spaces and it is infuriating. For him, it is totally about signaling social dominance (in the same way that the highest status person at a meal eats the sloppiest because following etiquette is for subordinates, which he does, too.) He does work/business through the phone, so the conversation is presumed "important" which means no one else can talk above a whisper while he's on the phone. When I visit my parents, I can express disapproval and he might move to another room, but in the car, there is no other room. My fury buuuurrrrrnnnns.
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I can speak only for myself, but several years ago I had an iPhone X where the speaker volume for the earpiece declined over time (surprisingly rapidly, actually). I tried all the recommended apps to knock the dust out of the speaker, to no avail. Eventually, I went to the Genius Bar and they were able to use far more successful tones to clear it.
But for a period of some weeks, I had no choice but to make every call via speaker if I wanted to be able to hear. I don't think this is the most common reason people do this, but I could definitely see it being in the top five or ten reasons. I did answer every call with "Hello, you're on speaker in public because my phone isn't working properly" so that nobody could say they weren't warned that we were not having a private conversation.
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RickRoyLeonPrisZhoraRacha
Ars Scholae Palatinae
Earbuds/headphones are cheap!
Also, have you noticed that, say, 20 years ago, if someone was walking ahead of you, waving their arms and talking out loud, you avoid that nut like the plaque! Today, you see so many talking and having a solo conversion like its normal...their hair or hood covering their earphones. Oh look, an Apple user with Airpods... and another...and oh, wait, that one is oldskool corded, and with a press to mute button on the cord!
Also, have you noticed that, say, 20 years ago, if someone was walking ahead of you, waving their arms and talking out loud, you avoid that nut like the plaque! Today, you see so many talking and having a solo conversion like its normal...their hair or hood covering their earphones. Oh look, an Apple user with Airpods... and another...and oh, wait, that one is oldskool corded, and with a press to mute button on the cord!
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Wear it on your front instead. This is the norm on crowded Japanese commuter trains. And it works.
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Let's not leave out the folks that just stream video on speakerphone at max volume.
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Maybe take YOUR phone out and start a Voice Memo recording of the other person and forcibly inject YOUR recording device to within eyeshot/eyeline of the perp. When they ask what I 'm doing, just reply recording. Since YOU'RE broadcasting I thought I'd record the 'Tea' for later consumption. (Might get a box-cutter reply, but I'm mean enough to do it!)
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I recall a certain category of men doing it long before the pandemic with PTT Nextel phones. It was almost never women.
Here's a very old thread of people complaining about the very same thing. I could not understand it then either, but I thought it was some cultural thing where people regarded this kind of selfishness as ... empowering? Kind of aural manspreading. I have not witnessed it, but boomboxes on subways in 1980s could have belonged to the same category.
PTT phones are long gone, but that culture remained and evolved.
Here's a very old thread of people complaining about the very same thing. I could not understand it then either, but I thought it was some cultural thing where people regarded this kind of selfishness as ... empowering? Kind of aural manspreading. I have not witnessed it, but boomboxes on subways in 1980s could have belonged to the same category.
PTT phones are long gone, but that culture remained and evolved.
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That's a different, albeit related, annoyance. Speakerphone conversations seem ruder, somehow.
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Honestly I think it’s because most phones don’t come with headphones in the box anymore or even a headphone jack in most cases so more people are just using the built-in speaker for everything.
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*Cue Old Man Yelling at Cloud memes *
While I think cell phone addiction is present among all age cohorts it certainly seems more prevalent starting with Millennials and has gotten progressively worse with Gen Z and now Gen Alpha. They seem to have lost the ability to cope with being bored, and being alone, for any stretch of time.
While I think cell phone addiction is present among all age cohorts it certainly seems more prevalent starting with Millennials and has gotten progressively worse with Gen Z and now Gen Alpha. They seem to have lost the ability to cope with being bored, and being alone, for any stretch of time.
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Albino_Boo
Ars Praefectus
The Mob tried that defence when the FBI brought in lip readers in the 90s. It didn't work.
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As a Gen-X'er, I can confidently say that the people I see doing this most are boomers who would have punched me in the face for calling their house after 8pm, or if I was driving by with my car stereo "too loud." I was just ranting about this to my wife the other day when a lady a few years older than me had her phone propped up on the table at our restaurant at lunch having a conversation with someone. It's maddening.
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What makes the grocery store example doubly stupid is, these folks still know etiquette if they are talking to someone in person.
They will lower their voices when talking about something delicate face-to-face. But when they’re on the phone? They talk as if they are both deaf as posts.
My only thought as to why all the speakerphones? You have to use it this way when you’re driving (hands-free), and I becomes a habit. Personally, my AirPods keep my hands free at all times, and my calls mostly private.
They will lower their voices when talking about something delicate face-to-face. But when they’re on the phone? They talk as if they are both deaf as posts.
My only thought as to why all the speakerphones? You have to use it this way when you’re driving (hands-free), and I becomes a habit. Personally, my AirPods keep my hands free at all times, and my calls mostly private.
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why? Simple
Now i can talk to you AND read facebook at the same time…
Multithreading people!
Now i can talk to you AND read facebook at the same time…
Multithreading people!
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Add to that the breathing noises which speaker mode seems to catch far more than regular mode or ear buds.
Also add to that all the charms and tchotchkies people have dangling off the phone, or the handful of keys clutched tightly with the phone, right by the microphone, and you may as well use tin cans and a string for better audio quality.
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Interesting observation. My experience is the exact opposite.
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