<em>Duke Nukem Forever</em>: barely playable, not funny, rampantly offensive

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<em>Duke Nukem Forever</em> is finally here—and it's one of the worst game from a major studio in quite some time. The jokes border on hateful. The graphics are a blurry mess. The shooting is unsatisfying. The good news? It's short.

<a href='http://meincmagazine.com/gaming/news/2011/06/duke-nukem-forever-review-barely-playable-unfunny-and-rampantly-offensive.ars'>Read the whole story</a>
 
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Swarley

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  • #4
    I never understood the fascination with Duke Nukem. The 90's hit was garbage even back then... and I was even a teenage boy at the time! Can anybody explain to me why people were expecting anything but garbage from a 13 years late sequel? Especially since the people who did love the original are certainly not teenage boys anymore and the people who are now teenage boys don't have any sense of nostalgia for DN3D.

    EDIT: I also wanted to add that Duke Nukem isn't funny in the way that Army of Darkness is funny. It's lame in the same way as that guy we all know who tries to choose his own "badass" nick name and asks everybody to call him that.
     
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    BigDragon

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  • #14
    I had a feeling this was going to happen after seeing videos of the demo released to pre-order customers. The demo looked frighteningly bad. I'm a big fan of Duke. I had a blast with the older games, especially Duke3D. Fusion Station, Tiberius Station, and Dark Side were the three most memorable maps of the game for me. Having the map editor and scripts easy to modify was great for expanding the game. The humor worked, the level design was great for its time, and the character iconic. The last great Duke game I played was Zero Hour on the N64.

    I'm sad to read that the game is no better than the poor demo they put out. I can't say that I'm surprised though. Oh well, maybe next time. I'm glad I didn't wind up buying this one. Maybe they'll get it right next time...if there is a next time.
     
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    Kaputnik

    Kaputnik

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  • #15
    Every time I put the controller down, I felt the need to rub my hands on my jeans as if the game were making me physically dirty.
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    LOL

    The game might be stupidly crappy, but from there to pretending it's got a vulcan mind grip on you..

    I have now clue how a game so all-encompassingly ugly can suffer from so many framerate issues, but Duke finds a way. From a business and gaming history perspective, the fact that the title exists at all is fascinating; for everyone else asked to spend $60 on it, it's merely sad.
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    LOL!
     
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    Steggles28

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  • #18
    This game does look terrible. However, I think I may like the humour, in the same way I like it when my uncle tells racist jokes.

    If the joke is really that bad and offensive, I find it very ammusing for two reasons:
    1. That it causes people to feel uncomfortable, and makes a situation more awkward than it was before. (For some reason I love that, like Curb your Enthusiasm), and
    2. That some people actually find it funny (laughing at the person who told the joke, not the joke itself).

    You can usually tell by the laugh response: are they laughing because that are thinking:
    1. "wow, yea black people DO smell don't they" OR
    2. "wow, that's very innappropriate"

    You can't just lump me into the former category, I'm not racist, sexist or homophobic.

    I would probably get a kick out of this games awful humour! (I think there are many people that would). However the game itself (level design, gameplay etc) turns me off it.
     
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    LagPoint

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  • #19
    Got a chance to play two different hands-on at E3, one for MP and one for SP. The campaign was ugly, boring, and uninteresting. It looked like a bad UT2K4 mod, at best. As for the MP, it was alright, I mean, it wasn't terrible, but it doesn't hold a candle to even the likes of the original Halo, let alone Serious Sam 3's MP.

    Good call. Thanks for having the guts to give an honest opinion.
     
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    Old School

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  • #22
    I haven't bought the game yet, but I think I'll hold off now until the price drops to under $30. I was a huge fan of DN3D, but the fun was in the multiplayer for me. The single player campaign back then was really just practice for LAN parties. I'm really looking forward to this game for one main reason: it pushes the ESRB boundaries to be more consistent with film as a media. The folks at the ESRB need to realize that a "Mature" gamer is more and more a 30+ year old with kids & a mortgage. As bad as this game may (or may not) suck for content, it moves the bar in the right direction. And geez, if you can't laugh about a few anti-PC jokes from time to time, you're swallowing too much liberal Kool-Aid! Nuke the gay whales for Allah!!!
     
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    iamwhoiam

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  • #24
    I bought it, played a little of it, quit for the night, and when I went back to play some more I was 2 levels behind where I left off at. Three separate times I've faced this.

    The load times sucks. The game has frequent stutters. Some sections are way too short. Did I mention that the load times sucks? It doesn't even have the same feel that a Duke game should have.

    I only made it about half way through the game before I HAD to give up on it and uninstall.

    IMO, it's a piece-o-shit.
     
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    darkowl

    darkowl

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  • #25
    So the game feels ten - fifteen years out of date, yet it has despicable regenerating health and two weapons at one time only.

    Where has all the fun gone in games? I want a game with health packs. I want a game where I can carry all the guns.

    Though oddly, I don't want Serious Sam. I never liked the way that played, even back in the day.
     
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    conrex

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  • #26
    You had me at "being forcibly impregnated by the aliens"...

    I'm not sure what people were really expecting with this title. It was literally pulled out of the trash can and served as a fresh meal. I have a feeling most of the reactions to this game are going to be glowing, or like Mr. Kuchera's, absolutely scathing. In the end there's no way this game was ever going to live up to the legendary hype that it received during it's decade long time in production.

    That being said, when it drops to bargain price ( >$15 or so) I'll definitely being trying it out. For the same reason that I enjoy watching terrible movies. To witness the sheer ludicrousness.
     
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    mrhasbean

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  • #27
    It sounds like it's aimed squarely at the same (mental) age audience as the original was all those years ago. The dumbing down - toilet humour - liner progression - easymode everything. You only need to look at what's happened to games like World of Warcraft over the past few years to see what the general dumbing down of society and the "I want it now and I don't want to have to learn anything or do anything that makes me think to get it!" mentality has done to games.

    A sad sign of the times really, and it will probably be as big a hit as the original, just not with those who played the original...
     
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    icrf

    icrf

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  • #32
    Steggles28":3c8h99xp said:
    This game does look terrible. However, I think I may like the humour, in the same way I like it when my uncle tells racist jokes.

    If the joke is really that bad and offensive, I find it very ammusing for two reasons:
    1. That it causes people to feel uncomfortable, and makes a situation more awkward than it was before. (For some reason I love that, like Curb your Enthusiasm), and
    2. That some people actually find it funny (laughing at the person who told the joke, not the joke itself).

    You can usually tell by the laugh response: are they laughing because that are thinking:
    1. "wow, yea black people DO smell don't they" OR
    2. "wow, that's very innappropriate"

    You can't just lump me into the former category, I'm not racist, sexist or homophobic.

    I would probably get a kick out of this games awful humour! (I think there are many people that would). However the game itself (level design, gameplay etc) turns me off it.
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    Agreed. I'll probably pick it up when it shows up on a Steam sale for less than ten bucks just for that.
     
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    dclker

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  • #33
    Ok... times have changed, it's not ok to make fun of women anymore, or tell gay jokes. Consider the context in which the original was released, when it _was_ ok to have a little fun in your video game. Now consider today, when you can't even tell a good blonde joke without risking the ire of the NOW.

    Ah well, I guess I'll take up the cause for the good of my generation who gets that this is just a game, and not a goddamn statement about society. BRING IT DUKE!!!
     
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    XX55XX

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  • #36
    I bought the game at a deep discount (thank you, Green Man Gaming) and have yet to play it, but I can see why someone might not like it. It's old, brings nothing new, and relies too heavily on its heritage, not its merit, to achieve critical and commercial success.

    I believe I will still have fun with it regardless, but I too see this as an overly average game at best.

    And granted, I tried not to buy into the hype, but I love Duke Nukem too much.
     
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    Pirokobo

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  • #39
    ravenpen":1cwabcip said:
    Well that's unfortunate. Not terribly surprising, but disappointing all the same.
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    A bunch of extremely thick people, who still genuinely believe that something half decent could come out of this rigmarole, would say “That’s tragic.” NO IT IS NOT TRAGIC! If you get sued because you were paid to do a job you didn’t do, that is not tragic, that's how the world should be!

    "I want it now and I don't want to have to learn anything or do anything that makes me think to get it!"
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    Fortunately we still have EVE Online and Minecraft.
     
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    Apocryphax64

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  • #40
    Yeah, this is exactly why I didn't bother to stand in line at PAX East. I tried the demo (early access club!) and it felt exactly like a game that took 14 years to make.

    I just hope gearbox didn't throw too much money at this game to finish it up. I liked Borderlands and want something more polished like that in the future.
     
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