A word from Editor Moonshark about Artemis II

Our resident <em>Carcharodon lunaris</em> weighs in about today's historic launch.

See full article...

 

[AmorImpermissus]

I often wonder if the timbre and intonation of Moonshark's voice sounds closer to that of Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo, or that of Chris Farley as El Niño.

 

[SomewhereAroundBarstow]

Under the Outer Space treaty, shark fishing is prohibited on the Moon.

Due to an oversight in the treaty, whaling is allowed, but there ain't no whales.

Clearly you haven't seen the acclaimed documentary, Pinocchio in Outer Space.

 

[graylshaped]

Remember, Moonshark: Astronauts are friends, not food.

 

[numerobis]

Under the Outer Space treaty, shark fishing is prohibited on the Moon.

Due to an oversight in the treaty, whaling is allowed, but there ain't no whales.

I am also confused by this. Does Carcharodon lunaris have a different anatomy from other sharks? Maybe flippers are better than fins in the lunar regolith?

I think Taunted Happy Fun Ball hit the nail on the head. Moonshark is 100% a shark and not a cetacean hiding under a shark suit for their own protection.

 

[whoisit]

Why did we never see this in Kubrick's moon landing footage?

 

[SomewhereAroundBarstow]

Remember, Moonshark: Astronauts are friends, not food.

The Artemis II project motto: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

 

[rain shadow]

 

[adam.i]

Moonshark, when are you getting the laser upgrade?

Recognizing that every creature deserves a warm meal. We left several laser reflectors on the moon in the Apollo days and have been hitting them with lasers ever since.

 

[jarvis]

I would have "accidently" mispelled make as mako, not maek. You know, cause you're a shark and all...

 

[Semi On]

Now I want a moonshark branded hat.

 

[Heavy Messing]

Is someone going to Jump the Shark at this point?

On Moon there is no Jump the Shark. Shark jumps you.

 

[Jakelshark]

Finally a reporter on the moon to cover all that action

 

[the cave troll]

Thank you very kindly for the warm welcome, Editor Moonshark! You are likewise cordially invited to drop by my Earth cave anytime for a nice cup of tea—and perhaps a friendly exchange of our favorite jokes about humans that we politely refrain from telling when our human friends are around!

 

[ArsLongaVitaBrevis_4321]

Clearly, ‘Editor Moonshark’ is having more fun today than a boy, erhm, shark should be allowed to have.

But the levity is very much appreciated. Today, and this year!

 

[Ianal]

"Moonshark read on Ars Technica Moon edition that Artemis II crew make launch today and come fly see Moon. Moonshark want extend flipper of peace to astronauts from Earth and say Moon is pretty okay place to live, very nice, lots fun things to do! Good food scene with Moon food trucks, lots Moon concerts, many fine Moon tourist attraction. Moonshark hope astronauts like Moon, leave good review on Moon Yelp."

Famous music-making humans predict that you hear different tunes at Moon concerts. Can Editor Moonshark confirm? Thanks!

Also, @Dputiger - I am holding you personally responsible for my latest earworm! Thanks, I hate it.

 

[Just Creech]

This definitely made me happy today

 

[Flailsafe]

@Editor Moonshark

Do your moonshark surfers wear necklaces holding human teeth?

Would you describe a moonshark who has gone crazy an ”earth"-atic or "terra"tic?

 

[FranzJoseph]

A question for @MoonShark or @Editor Moonshark (whichever is the right one?), how do all the spherical cows in a vacuum on a frictionless plane taste? Are the steaks any different in the lower gravity?

And what is your preferred cooking method there for them? Raw and cooked by ionising radiation? Induction? Or (gasps) gas? I gather the latter would be somewhat inconvenient in your environment...

 

[Coolman13355]

Ars, well done on combining this historical event and the fact it's April Fools.

 

[KurtisMayfield]

Flippers?

Is Moonshark actually a dolphin in a shark suit?

I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.

 

[noanoxan]

I don't know why, but I read this article in Creepy Dave's voice.

I can't stop laughing

 

[makimaki]

Moonshark's Moon Missal gives me hope for humanity.

Thanks for the good laugh.

 

[AdamVenier]

Under the Outer Space treaty, shark fishing is prohibited on the Moon.

Due to an oversight in the treaty, whaling is allowed, but there ain't no whales.

But documentary evidence suggests there are whalers on the moon despite the lack of targets.

 

[Alpha Lupi]

Left a Moon Yelp review - great food, no atmosphere

 

[Snark218]

I’m imagining King Shark from Suicide Squad, in an Apollo spacesuit, clumsily typing on a laptop and giving a friendly wave as Artemis II zips by, and it’s a delightful mental image. Maybe someone with better LLM prompting skills can generate it.

 

[the cave troll]

A question for @MoonShark or @Editor Moonshark (whichever is the right one?), how do all the spherical cows in a vacuum on a frictionless plane taste? Are the steaks any different in the lower gravity?

I would imagine it is the meat equivalent of freeze-dried ice cream.

 

[thewooly]

I often wonder if the timbre and intonation of Moonshark's voice sounds closer to that of Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo, or that of Chris Farley as El Niño.

From those choices, I'd pick Chris Farley, but I think Strong Bad would be ideal.

 

[redtomato]

Under the Outer Space treaty, shark fishing is prohibited on the Moon.

Due to an oversight in the treaty, whaling is allowed, but there ain't no whales.

What if the moon is over Wales?

 

[Runner400]

Say hi to Willzyx for us Moonshark

 

[SomewhereAroundBarstow]

What if the moon is over Wales?

"No, I'm afraid I'll never get over Wales." - The Moon

 

[deviladv]

There is no shark side of the moon really, matter of fact, it's all shark.

I did not expect two deep cuts like this in the same day let alone the same article. Bravo.

 

[Numfuddle]

Moonshark already preparing the „No Trespassing“ and „No Soliciting“ signs

 

[KrookedRooster]

Under the Outer Space treaty, shark fishing is prohibited on the Moon.

Due to an oversight in the treaty, whaling is allowed, but there ain't no whales.

Star Trek IV giving awkward silence right now.

 

[Mr. Perfect]

Moonshark mentioned back in 2020 that there is no Diablo on the moon, only Atari. Can we like, send a Steam Deck or something up there with Artemis? This has haunted me for years now.

 

[The Muftak]

Under the Outer Space treaty, shark fishing is prohibited on the Moon.

Due to an oversight in the treaty, whaling is allowed, but there ain't no whales.

View: https://youtu.be/U8V2U7vTys0?si=Vw4wnuuqC0SUDMOW

 

[Raspberry]

/sh

 

[BitPoet]

Moonshark already preparing the „No Trespassing“ and „No Soliciting“ signs

And "No Smoking" I assume. Editor Moonshark does not seem to be the type to enjoy Space Lox.

 

[fractl]

Kind of feels like Moonshark is just trying to butter up humans so we land some tasty human snacks on the Moon.

Cool Ranch Doritos (TM)(R), or did you mean human meat sacks?

 

[fellow human]

Thanks for the note Editor! I have a question: since English is clearly not your first language (which is fine, no judgement!) I was wondering what your mother tongue is, and if you can say something to us in it?

Thanks!

 

[ramases]

If anyone wants a wallpaper sized version of it (without the Hellloo! text) I uploaded here:

https://cdn.arstechnica.net/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/moonshark-welcome-wallpaper.jpg

It's based off of this pretty incredible photo:

View attachment 131975

Wonder what happened to the camera afterwards.